I've been crazy busy these last few months and life will stay this busy for quite some time! Which is just fine, but I do need to chill out and relax every so often.
Starting to really get disappointed every month that passes with nothing happening. It's very discouraging. Had a conversation with my Grandmother recently and she says she is hoping for at least 24 great-grandchildren. Yeah, she said 24.
Sometimes I think about all the pros vs cons with having a child and it's damn scary. Then I just give up, to hell with this venture. I don't need to procreate to be happy, which I don't truthfully, but then I think of all the wonderful things about being a parent. I think about the awesome parents Erik and I will be if this happens for us, then a sadness sets in because of the infertility issues I have. I feel like I let my family down and that makes me angry, pissed off.
I'm starting to think about adoption more seriously. We haven't discussed that possibility and probably won't for a few more years. I don't know, I'd just like this to happen for us without any more complications in this aspect of our lives. I've had too many surgeries and treatments for this issue without any success.
When I think back to my ectopic in 2001, I get frustrated and angry. I went through a 6 hour surgery to repair my left tube and a long recovery period for it to end up a failed attempt 2 years later. Maybe it's time I talked to my doctor to see a specialist.
Where's a magic wand when you need one?